Forgive or Forget - that is the question? But what about revenge?

When I was little I distinctly remember my Mumma saying to me ‘We don’t hate anybody’ and then she would add, ‘You can dislike someone but we NEVER HATE!’ Fair enough I thought! 

I was young, I didn’t have cause to really hate anyone and just because my brothers would play knee footy and be loud in front of the TV when The Brady Bunch was on, it really didn’t call for serious hate vibes.

Fast forward to adulthood and I realised that people got hurt by other people and the emotion was pain but often coined as HATE. 

Actually I realised that hate was real, baby. You could feel hate and I had the pain to prove it.

Pain hurts and you want revenge for what ‘they’ have done to you. I know! I admit I have wasted precious hours and even days thinking about all the ways to make those people suffer that tore my heart out. To bring them to their knees. To hurt them like they hurt me.

However…hate destroys one person - yourself.

So that’s it, you say?

People can hurt you, try to destroy you, lie about you, betray you and simply go on their merry way????? 

Oh no beauty…they can’t!  Because no one rides for free on this earth. Hate can destroy yourself so instead, you must trust that if people do you wrong, there will be hard times ahead for them. I truly believe this. Leave the hate to the universe. Don’t destroy your life by getting caught in its cobwebs.

Here are five things that I have observed over my 50 plus years, about what happens when people do you wrong and what you can do to cope and then thrive.

1. The Universe Delivers!

When people do bad things to other people, when people lie or hurt other people intentionally, when people cause pain to other people…they do NOT live a blissful life. 

I do believe that the energy of this world kind of ‘rights itself’. People can not roam around the earth doing bad things to other people, spreading lies, betraying friendships, causing havoc and harm and not having consequences. 

The energy of the world doesn't allow that. 

There are consequences for hurting others intentionally. We call it karma and it makes sense. The world teaches the wrong doers that if you are going to behave like that, you will NOT have a very good life yourself.

You may look at these individuals and think that nothing is happening to them but trust me , it is.

Most people have a conscience (unless you are dealing with a psychopath) and late at night when they lie in their beds, their hearts know they have done wrong, their mind knows they have done wrong and this is where the torture begins. 

Those sleepless nights evoke worry, anxiety and discomfort. Their life, if they do not right their wrongs or learn from what they have done, begins to continuously unravel.

Do not get caught in a web of hatred. Let go of the hate and put it in the hands of the wise ole universe. Sit back and wait for the magic to happen.

 

2. You are NOT the same as them!

People who do you wrong often aren’t like you. They may not have the same values or morals as you do. They may not have the same level of humility and goodness. 

Don’t waste time analysing their behaviour because they themselves can be oblivious to the detrimental effects of their actions. Their behaviour is about them and NOT a reflection of you. 

Set yourself free. 

You did not deserve their warped sense of reality or abuse. This is about them, not you! Let the universe take care of them.

 

3. Hatred destroys opportunities. 

If you are caught in a world of hate, you miss opportunities to love, to move forward and thrive. You miss sunrises and sunsets, gut laughs and good times. You miss love and friendship and cocktails by the sea. 

Wallowing in hate doesn’t get you anywhere. It just makes you miserable. 

Instead focus on yourself. Write down the things that make you truly happy and then go after them. Incorporate them in your day. Plan goals for yourself and set about achieving them. As soon as you start focusing on yourself, you set your own universe in motion and it gives you more of what you ask for. 

The people that hurt you aren’t your concern. 

You cannot control them BUT you can control your beautiful self and fulfil your wildest dreams. Save your energy for you because I want to hear about all the amazing plans you have for yourself and the seriously innovative jaw dropping life you are creating for your future.

 

4. New experiences will heal your heart.

Go to new places, travel, meet new people and have new experiences. I know you cannot up and leave your home, place or job but you can do new stuff in your free time. 

When my heart was hurt, my husband and I started getting away almost every weekend. We’d visit the kids or book a cheeky overnight stay sometimes and then he actually surprised me with a little van for christmas. It’s not fancy and we haven’t even kitted it out yet. We just throw a mattress in the back with great bedding and lots of pillows. It’s awesome. 

We pull up at beaches and cliff tops and hang out. I love it. The next week we aren’t talking about what or who upset us, instead we are talking about the cool time we had and the new place we visited. We don’t spend a lot of money. We just get out and see and do new things. 

It’s a game changer. Focus on you and doing the things you love…not them!

 

5. Keep your cards close to your chest

When someone does the dirty on you, hurts you, lies about you, tries to destroy you, spreads rumours about you… do this. Lean in on the people who would die for you and I mean the ones who would take a knife in the heart for you. That’s not many right. Not many at all. Maybe your partner, your mumma, your sister, your very best friend. We are talking about the soul people of your life. That is about how many people you should explain your situation to and what has happened. 

As much as you want to confess your innocence and tell the world what bad people they are, don’t do it. The world doesn’t care. The world loves gossip. The world will take your story, jazz it up and spit out a different version. Keep your cards close to your chest because once again, the universe has your back and the universe will expose those ‘weapon heads’ for who they truly are.

Stay classy, stay brave and stay quiet when people do you wrong.

I hope this blog helps you to find peace in your heart because at the end of the day, that’s what life is about…being at peace with yourself. I really think that finding your passions, doing the things you love, being with your squad and having a purpose in this life beats revenge and hating on people who did you wrong.

Forgive, forget, revenge? I couldn’t be bothered with any of that, I’m too busy over here drinking margaritas, watching sunsets, doing a few high kicks and breathing in all the good vibes! 

Here's to you and your happiness! Embrace it!