How to be successful as a woman?
Wow do you know that according to Tori Dunlop this is the most googled topic for women. So let’s look at some of the advice when you type that in the google search and see if we are agreeable to it.
All of the advice just made me cringe…maybe do a little vomit in my mouth.
This was what I found. Things like, successful women set goals, think outside the box, spend money on their appearance, be assertive, have confidence, be passionate about what they do… blah blah blah!
What even is success and who defines it for us? Who is the ‘grand poo bear’ of what a successful woman is!!
Before you even google ‘What is a successful woman?’ , think about what success looks like for you. Because trust me, success looks different for all of us.You cannot put it in a box, neatly seal it up and say this is it! You define what your own gawd damn success looks like!
I have dear friends from school, girls I’ve known all my life. The girl who I thought was the MOST career driven has hardly worked a day in her life and chose to be a full time stay at home mum. She’s blissfully happy. The girl I thought least likely to have a career, runs an entire nursing staff and regularly makes decisions about life and death. She’s blissfully happy. The girl who was so overweight and so unhappy, now works out 5-6 times per week, is studying to be a personal trainer and looks incredible.She is blissfully happy! The girl who was shy and insecure has just redefined her friendship group to include only girls that cheer for her. She’s blissfully happy!
You see, ALL these girls are successful in their own way and each of their success looks totally different. Our success cannot be defined by society, it needs to be defined by ourselves.
And how do we know that we’ve achieved success?
Tough question!!
We feel safe and things just feel ‘in place’! We feel accomplished and satisfied with our lot, however, we can still have goals and still want to achieve things in our lives. I think continuing to grow and evolve is imperative.
If you do not have the above feelings or feel like you haven’t achieved the success in your life that you want, read on for a few cool tips!
How do you become successful?
You ask the universe to show you your purpose and you listen to what it says.
Why have you been put on this earth?
What are you meant to do?
How can you help people?
Where do your true interests lie?
What sets your heart on fire?
But what if I don’t know what my passions are?
Try this simple trick.
If you don’t know, look at what you are following on social media, facebook, instagram, twitter, tiktok. Right there you will see your passions even if you are not sure. My instagram is made up of a mixture of fitness, motivational writers/poets, fashion, home decor, creative projects. I love the human heart and the human condition. I was destined to do something that deals with emotions or health. I love people and I love looking at who they are and why they do the things they do. I’m passionate about this.
What do you like?
What do you daydream about?
What books do you read?
What music do you listen to?
What sports do you play?
What foods do you eat or cook?
What movies/series do you like watching?
What clothes do you wear?
To find out ‘How to be successful as a woman’, get to know your soul…really get to know the deep bits. Not the girl your parents wanted you to be or the girl your partner expects you to be or even the girl your friends think you are! Find the real girl…the one who lights up in the dark when she does her ‘things’!
If you can identify that and then do them, that is ‘success’ right there.
Success is being authentic, true to who you are and what you want to be in this world. It’s so damn scary but if you can be the girl that lives in your heart, you are sooooo freaking successful!
Success Blocking!
Just be careful because there are some things you need to look out for. What do I mean by this?
Well, there may be ‘stuff’ getting in the way of your success.
You may actually be successful but feel unsuccessful. Let me explain.
Here are three things that can derail your sense of success.
Do people around you appear more successful than you? Do they seem to have it all? The career, the perfect partner, the house, the perfect kids.
Trust me, they don’t. Every person has their cross to bear at some point in their life.
People’s lives will never be perfect because the universe challenges everyone to be better. So while you’re stuck admiring their ‘purple patch’ at the moment and looking at your grey one, you are missing your growth lessons.
Stay in your own lane!
Challenge yourself and don’t worry about who has what. Look at how you can become the things you love and do the things you love!
Are you a hairdresser who really wants to be a stylist?
Are you a teacher who really wants to be an artist?
Did you fall into an acceptable job?
I know change is hard.
It is excruciatingly hard but here’s how you can move forward. Get a piece of paper and write down ALL the pros and cons of what following your dreams might look like. Be sure to include the best case and worst case scenario. Look at these objectively, work out if you can push past the fear and do what you really want to do. Once you see it staring in your face, once you see it in black and white on the paper, it doesn’t look sooooo scary and then just maybe you can go do ‘that’ thing!
There comes a time in your life when you have to face your fear to be successful. Success does not fall in your lap, your happiness does not fall in your lap. You have to seek it out and that is scary.
Face your fear and live a life of genuine authenticity!!
This is a tough one. We all want to be loved and we all want to make the people who love us proud. It is common to NOT upset the status quo by living a life that keeps others happy and NOT ourselves.
Do you know that your family and friends will still love you if you pursue your passionate dream?
They may laugh at you for a moment but you can take it! And when they realise that you are serious they are often so much more on board about it all.
Have you ever had someone close to you that’s seriously unhappy?
I mean scarily unhappy. Maybe there is depression, anxiety and suicide thoughts or tendencies. In that moment, you would give anything for them JUST to be happy. Nothing else matters except them feeling well and again, happy.
Happiness trumps everything.
So if your family and friends truly love you, they will value your happiness over everything. If you follow your dream and they wipe you from the family, they aren’t the people you need to live your life with. You will find a new tribe while you pursue your dream and true happiness.
The people who love you will be proud of you while you pursue your success. They’ll recognise your efforts and they’ll love you for it! They may not understand it! They may joke about it but ultimately they’ll still be there cheering for you as you hold your face to the sun knowing that you are living a life that you define as successful!
Successful Sally!
So in closing, how you become a successful woman is about living a life that honours your being, your passions, your dreams, your happiness.
I wanted to get married and have four babies and immerse myself in motherhood. That was my dream and that was my success. Some people may be vomiting out their car windows thinking that that would be their lot in life.
We are all different.
Do YOUR thing!
And remember, as a woman we’ve been taught to please others and often in doing the pleasing we lose our spirit, our hearts, our minds. You can still be a great partner, friend, wife and mother and please yourself. You are not a servant in this life to others well being…there is enough joy for you to, for you to be successful.
Go on, be brave enough to seek it out! Your inner lioness is dying to roar!!
Oh Ness, this is just BRILLIANT and just what I needed to read.
I noticed you wrote this on what would have been my beautiful mamma’s 82nd birthday, if that isn’t a sign from the universe, I don’t know what is, Thank you ❤