The Power of Giving Cake - when kindness matters!
It had been a rough week - a really rough week. I felt sad, disappointed and confused about humanity.
And then it happened…
A call enquiring how I was? What could they do to help? And to let me know that everything was going to be ok! It not only happened once but all the girls I cared about in my entire life, sent me a message or picked up the phone to offer care and counsel that week. Wow!
Flowers, plants and wine arrived at my door with messages reading ‘Just because we love you’.
I could focus on WHAT happened to me…which involved a whole lot of public humiliation or I could focus on WHO I had in my life and the LOVE that surrounded me. We are what we focus on and what we repeatedly do.
As I write this I am sitting in the back of my van looking out into the ocean. I am literally contemplating the world. A man is walking past with his dog about 50 metres away and I can hear him blasting old time melancholy music. What is he going through? Has he just lost his wife? Why is he playing such sad, heart wrenching music?
The thing is, we will never know…we will never know what people are going through or what a simple gesture will do for someone with a heartache.
Sometimes we are unsure about giving kindness and we question whether it’s warranted.
We tell ourselves…
Should I reach out? Should I send a message? Should I call? Should I say something? Should I drop off some food? Should I deliver a book I know someone will love? Should I invite them for dinner?
My answer is always a hard, fast YES! Do the thing!
You see, people are NOT that brave. People need your kindness. They really do.
People all feel incredibly deep stuff. Our hearts are moosh. We all need some care, love and checking on. We are hardwired for human connection.
I know it feels uncomfortable to put yourself out there sometimes. I know your efforts might even be rejected BUT if they are, the universe will understand your heart and your goodness and I believe that if your heart is in the right place, you will be rewarded with love and light for your life. Do the thing!
Sometimes we want to do something kind for someone else but we just don’t make the time.
We’re busy and we’re sure someone else is checking in on them, so they’ll be fine.
Often they are not.
I have fallen to this BS self talk and have convinced myself that I’m too busy to pop in or make a call, or offer a helping hand. That's so bollocks!
Make time for good things. Make time for human connection. Make time for the people in your life that are worthy of that. Do the thing!
Trust me…if you are kinder, do good deeds and give back to this world you will be profoundly happier.
Here are 5 easy ways to be kind and bring more kindness into your life.
- A simple text message and what to say:
Try sending this…
‘No need to reply (Insert name or nick name). Just a check in to say I’m here for you.’
You will not believe the response this message gets. People are so grateful to be thought of or enquired after. And how quick and easy are those words to type out and send. Bellissimo.
Sometimes we think so hard about if it’s the right thing to do or not…that we end up NEVER doing anything. If you’re out shopping, buy an extra loaf of bread and a litre of milk and drop it at your busy mate's door.
Don’t think about it, just do it.
Our good intentions often go to waste because we are pawning over the reaction. Trust me, people adore kindness.
Simple things are best and people love all things homemade, especially food.
I have a delicious cake that takes me probably 15 mins to mix together. I throw it in the oven, make the icing and throw it on the cake. That’s it…it’s all done! It is a breath out of my day BUT every time I leave this gem on a doorstep it lights up the receivers heart.
It’s easy, it’s cost effective, it doesn’t take much time and it brings so much happiness!
Trust me, find a simple thing you can make and do that. I also love to make candles and get real joy out of leaving a candle in one of my reused pantry jars on a doorstep.
Simple, but it creates heartfelt care and can alter the course, for the better, of a person’s day.
Wow…this is super hard to do for so many people (because everyone wants to be liked by everyone and that’s a sad fact) but if you know and value the person that is being gossiped about, don’t agree with what is being said, don’t go along with the tribe.
Say something like this, ‘ That is not my experience. ‘ I haven’t found ‘person x’ to be like that.’ ‘I don’t agree with that.’
Afterwards you’ll feel so much better for not joining in on the negative nancy gossip train and hurting the poor person who is getting a grilling. This simple act of kindness will make your heart feel good.
Stand up for your friends in their absence. Stand up for good people.
You have to look after your own mind, body and soul before you can be good at looking after others. Fill your cup up first!
Constantly read, listen and watch material that makes you a better person.
What are you feeding your soul? If you feed it hate and negativity, you’ll become that.
What music are you listening to?
What podcasts are you exploring?
What people are you hanging out with?
How are you learning and growing as a person?
Do things that make you become better. Challenge yourself. Do hard things!
If you're unsure where to start, try these:
- Journal all your thoughts out onto paper.
- Write down three things you are grateful for, for a week.
- Focus on things that expand your mind…take the course, learn the new skill, get after it.
- Read 10 pages of motivational material each morning.
- Do some kind of exercise every day…walking is just fine.
If you care for your mind and body, you will be better able to care for others or at least be kinder to them. Don’t neglect yourself.
Take a minute to think about yourself and who you are. Are you a good person? Are you caring for yourself? Are you feeding your mind good material that will make you better, braver, stronger, smarter?
If you are NOT doing these things, if you are caught in a quandary of negativity, know that you can pull yourself out of it. Check out a few motivational instagram pages to follow, buy a book or listen to an audio book. Try ‘The War of Art’ by Steven Pressfield or ‘Becoming Bulletproof’ by Evy Poumpouras to get started.
What giving cake has taught me…
The power of giving cake has taught me the power of kindness and how it truly affects those that you give it to. Your small effort means a great deal to someone else. You actually help their well being, their mental health, their heart. You may even save them from real inner turmoil.
We need to know that people care.
Often when I give cake, I find out how much the person really needed it because they open up about this.
Often when I give cake, I strengthen my relationships.
Often when I give cake, my own world becomes happier.
Often when I give cake, I find peace within myself.
Go forth and conquer the world with a little bit of kindness in your day! The world needs it more than ever now. It’s up to you to be brave enough to start.
Let me know in the comments below the kindest thing anyone has done for you and how it made you feel!
Here’s to a world that makes us feel valued, loved and important…because each and every one of us has a purpose. It’s time we filled each other up instead of standing by and letting the cup remain empty and dry!
Love and light.
SZ x.